judgeable:

i’m probably the best at losing friends

h0odrich:

mom: where are you going its almost midnight

me: out

image

flannelbuttphenomenon:

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

shibabear:

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE THE SUN SAYS HELLO

fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

forebidden:

 -

oreoofficial:

"no pain no game." i whisper as i break my sisters leg while playing twister

choreograph:

 

ceesquatch:

when an animal doesn’t like me it really impacts my self esteem